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Thoughts on Growing Old

We moved my grandmother into an assisted living facility today. She has multiple sclerosis and has regressed to the point that it’s not safe for her to live alone. It is a sad day. She’s been living alone for a few years, since my grandfather died from cancer. We hope that she will be able to make friends, and be accepted, and enjoy herself. So for that, we are relieved. No more late night phone calls for her kids, needing to pick her up off the floor. With everything going on with Bryce, it’s been a few days of deep thinking. Which is rare for me.

When we are born, for years we are totally dependent on our caretakers. We would die without their help. When we grow old, eventually, we are totally dependent on our caretakers. We would die without their help as well. Why is that? Why aren’t we born and grow to maturity in a day? Why did God create us this way? Is it because we need to learn to rely on others, like we need to rely on God? Is it so that we grow up to realize that the ones that took care of us, and kept us alive, make mistakes? And because of our closeness with them, these mistakes rock our world and make us realize that we are all sinful, when we’re hurt by the ones we love, and then the idea of God becomes more real to us? A caretaker that makes no mistakes, doesn’t yell at us when He’s mad, doesn’t forget to come to our baseball game, doesn’t forget to call on our birthdays (etc.), and cared enough that he died to save us from death? I don’t know why life is the way it is, other than God willed it that way. Someday, I will be unable to care for myself. I know it’s true, death comes to all men. But when that day comes, I’ll know I’m still loved and taken care of by the creator of the world, and that will help heal the sadness that comes with losing my independence.

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