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Posts Tagged ‘Funny’

Defense mechanism???

August 7, 2008 Leave a comment

Wasps have venom as a defense mechanism. I would like to suggest it’s more of an offensive mechanism. While mowing tonight I scared up a nest of yellow jackets. I didn’t see them and bam, bam! I thought I had thrown little pieces of sticks into my left shin at about 300 mph. I looked down, saw wasps, and ran. Then yelled at my neighbors for some wasp spray. I got my weapon, and found the nest, and took care of the problem. Their defensive mechanism just made me mad and come back and kill them. They should’ve left me alone. My leg still burns though. I’m sure they are laughing in their little waspy graves.

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Categories: Humor Tags: , ,

The Great Outdoors???

June 16, 2008 2 comments

So we got home tonight from spending some time with gampa and gammaw N and I was carrying Brielle into the house.  I glanced out the back door, and saw a big rabbit in the backyard.  Knowing that Brielle would love to see the rabbit, I carried her into the kitchen, only to see our neighbor walk into our backyard pumping a BB gun, placing the tip of the barrel only inches from the rabbit’s skull, and pulling the trigger.  Luckily, it took only about two seconds for my very confused brain to realize what I was seeing before the rabbit flew into the air about two feet, spasming on its way back down, so I was able to say “OH!”, and turn Brielle away from the window.  I dropped her in the living room, asked her to stay there, and proceeded to watch our neighbor put about three more BBs into the rabbit to finally “take it down”.  I think he saw me watching, even though I tried to make it look like I was busy in the kitchen.  I’ll have to ask him how Thumper tasted…

Advertising?

May 31, 2008 4 comments

Will someone PLEASE explain the point of this ad to me? Lael and I went out to dinner last night, thanks to Aunt Jessica watching the chitlins, and bought her a Cinnabon in payment. Yes, we’re cheap. We had to walk through Macy’s to get to the little store with a halo above the sign and angels perpetually singing (my wife, I think this is how she views Cinnabon). I took it on my phone, and can’t figure out how to rotate it, so I apologize for any sore necks. I think this is a very odd photo. Perhaps not thrown to a focus group, or the focus group decided to play a trick on the ad agency. “Oh yeah, that’s great, we understand the message perfectly! And there is nothing odd about that picture. Giant crotches on ads that make no sense are awesome!”

Maybe it was because my judgment was impaired after eating most of a giant 14oz hickory smoked sirloin at a new restaurant called Texas Land and Cattle. It was delicious. It wasn’t grilled, so it was the consistency of a prime rib. Here is a picture. I’d recommend the restaurant to anyone!

Hilarious Instructions for Raising a Baby

April 28, 2008 3 comments

These are awesome. Very important for new parents to read!

Quick Update on Bryce

April 27, 2008 Leave a comment

Bryce rolled over today all the way onto his tummy for the first time since his surgery. He could roll around a room before the operation, but since, when he gets onto his side and his shoulder, he would roll back over. This is a great step toward getting his mobility back to what it was. His bandage strips are starting to come off. Some have fallen off, some have been pulled off by him. His incision looks very good. Pink and clean, not scabby and gross like I thought it would. He’s been back to eating normal again. Baby food, cheerios, rice cereal, and milk. I’m feeling like he’s back to normal, and we haven’t even been home a week.

It was nice to be back to church this morning. Lael and I went, and Joan (Lael’s mom) and Barbara (Lael’s aunt) were kind enough to watch the kids so we wouldn’t expose them to any sick kids. Today should be the last day we have to quarantine the kids anymore. YES! We had to be really careful with them since we found out about Bryce, so it’s very freeing to not have to keep them away from other kids now. We had a little family get together tonight at my parent’s home. Brielle LOVED the little swing on the apple tree. She would ask me to push high, pockets off (I needed to take my hands out of my pockets and push her), faster, etc. She is starting to talk a LOT more, and even make short sentences. Like she just said 20 seconds ago to grandma, “No more diaper, no thank you!” Actually, it’s more like , “No more deepa!! No gank you!! ” Ah yes, the joys of bedtime. She’s asking to go “polly” now, she’s learning to stall. How’s this for a real-time play by play! I need to go…Bryce needs his meds.

I decided to look at some old pictures of Brielle and Bryce we have on Flickr.  Here are some older pics.

Categories: Family, Funny, Life Tags: , , ,

Foods I Love, But Shouldn’t Eat

April 14, 2008 1 comment

This is a depressing list to make, because I love these foods, but I know I shouldn’t eat them.  What’s your favorite bad-for-you food?

  • Macaroni and Cheese
  • Pizza
  • Chips and French Onion Dip
  • French Fries
  • Fried Mushrooms
  • Burgers
  • Bacon
  • Shrimp
  • Peanut M&Ms
  • Gummy Candies
  • Donuts
  • Ice Cream
  • Chinese Buffets
  • Oreos
  • Hot Dogs
  • Steaks
  • Movie Theater Popcorn
  • Large Tubs of Butter
  • 3 foot long Pixie Sticks
  • Big Mike’s Heart Attack on a Platter
  • Beef Grease

The last few may not be quite my favorites…but you get the picture.  Fry it up, I like it.  Salt it up, I like it.  Why are the best tasting foods so bad for you????

Categories: Funny, Humor Tags: , , ,

My Thoughts from Today

April 10, 2008 Leave a comment

I came home late today, and Brielle ran up to me and said “Hi, Daddy!  Miss you!”  Man, that hit me, what a cutie!  I love her so much.  I think she got the saying from me.  When I get home, I make a point to give her a hug and tell her I missed her today, and that it’s good to see her, and that I love her.  I guess it made a difference and something stuck!

I’ve been reading John lately.  To get to know Jesus better, I need to learn about Him, I love reading the New Testament.  Anyway, I searched today on why Jews don’t believe in Jesus because of all I’ve read over the years about how much the Jews hated Jesus.  The one website I saw listed a few spurious reasons why they don’t.  But there are so many prophecies and signs that He is the Messiah, I don’t understand why they don’t believe in Him, other than their blindness.  The arguments the Rabbi put forth were very weak, in my opinion.  The evidence for His divinity far outweigh what I’ve read against it.  I feel very saddened for the Jewish nation.

We watched the newest episode of “The Office”.  Just when I thought they couldn’t make the show more uncomfortable and realistic, BAM, it hit me like a ton of feathers (you think that wouldn’t hurt, but c’mon, a TON is a TON!).  It was really funny.

Here is a humorous picture of a kitten getting a bath.